City Wildlife – Roar of the White Tiger

The Delhi walla‘s pretension in writing makes me want to lodge a bullet in his balls – Blogger Nimpipi, the woodchuck chucks
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Roar of the White Tiger

A week in the life of the beast.

[Text by Mayank Austen Soofi; picture taken in the Delhi zoo by Kamal Kishore]

Booker Prize winner Aravind Adiga has dedicated his debut novel The White Tiger to the people of New Delhi. Since the announcement, the white tiger’s cage in Delhi zoo has been drawing unprecedented crowd.

From the Desk of:
‘The White Tiger’
A Thinking Beast,
Mathura Road (just off Purana Qila),
New Delhi, India.

Friday: Grrrrr. People of New Delhi! My paw! What about me? That brown guy names his novel after me but dedicates it to the red meat crowd. Have your flesh and eat it too.

Saturday: Oh God, it’s the weekend! The crowd is getting too much. Grrrrr, no respite from the book. Everyone is flaunting it. Hey, you… oh, a kid (what tender flesh! Must be soft and chewy) is throwing his hardbound at me. Grrrr, here comes another one! The caretaker tells me that the fools want my pawtograph on the cover. No, no, no. Tell them not to bother me. Why don’t they go back to their malls and leave me alone. God, I’m starving.

Sunday: £50,000. FIFTY THOUSAND. Yes cub, that is what he got as prize money. And what I have? Just 120 kg. Life is unfair. If nothing else, give me 5 goats instead of one. Please.

Monday: Shh, I’m reading The White Tiger. The zoo is closed. My weekly off today. Hurrah.

Tuesday: Wow. This evening I gave my hundredth pawtograph. It was a great feeling. Maybe I can also become a Booker prize winning novelist. They say now there’s khoob paisa in writing. Fancy what FIFTY THOUSAND pounds can buy! The goats, the rabbits, the bulls and… Corbet willing – the muggles!

Wednesday: Last night after I got done with my tigress, I started writing my novel. Finally. Here are the first few lines of my first chapter. Only for your eyes: “Awwwwghhhh ghrrrrghrrrrrrr worrrrroooohhhhhh. GrrrrrrrGrrrrrrrrr hwgggg ghhhrrrrrrrrr. Mewwwwwww.” Booker winning material, eh? I have already decided the title – That Brown Man.

Thursday: I’m in a mess. Arvind Adiga is in town. President Pratibha Patil is hosting a state banquet for him. But he’ll be busy with a Barkha Dutt interview. Rashtrapati Bhawana now wants me instead. But I have no dinner jacket! Grrrrr.