City Personals – Matchmaking in Delhi

The Delhi walla‘s pretension in writing makes me want to lodge a bullet in his balls – Blogger Nimpipi, the woodchuck chucks
GO STRAIGHT TO MORE STORIES
Contact mayankaustensoofi@gmail.com for ad enquiries.

Spring Love

They all are well-known people.

[Compiled by Mayank Austen Soofi]

The city blogsite is starting a personals section for its readers. This inaugural edition has classifieds sent in by the Capital’s reasonably well-known people on the condition that their identities will not be disclosed. However, if you keep abreast of the society gossip, it won’t be tough to untangle who is who. In most cases, that is. (Scroll to the bottom to find how to e-mail your classified).

ATTRACTIVE, AWARD-WINNING dancer, married to a foreign diplomat currently posted in North Africa, seeks a charming, intelligent middle-aged man well versed with Indian culture. Pandara Road area preferred.

SHARP, BEAUTIFUL butch lesbian, belonging to a very powerful political family. Conveniently married to a New Friends Colony gay man. Two children. Seeks a like-minded but sober woman in 30s. Secrecy must. Great if you are into Buddhism and Dalai Lama.

SLIGHTLY WEIRD, SLIGHTLY HYSTERICAL, culture-loving, big-time newspaper editor, looking to share evening drinks at the India International Center bar. You must be childless and into eastern philosophy. Sex not ruled out.

BEARDED, HEALTHY, Enfield-riding, divorced publisher, owner of a South Delhi bookshop, searching for a single woman for conversations, dinners and more. Preferably someone living in or around Kailash Colony. Punjabi speaking? No bar.

SLIM, CLEAN-SHAVEN, TV presenter, obsessively discreet but wears makeup on very special occasions, based in Green Park, heavily into western classical music, with a subscription to BBC Music magazine. Visit Vienna annually. You need be young, smooth and a willing boy. Location no problem.

AGED, LEGENDARY author and a widower seeking an attractive, intellectually curious, bright, passionate, literature-loving, but not bookish-looking woman who can come to my apartment, near Khan Market, daily from 7pm to 8pm for scotch, canapés and gossip. Must be willing to brave the hostility of my next-door daughter and grand-daughter.

CUTE, ENGLISH BOI, from London, based in Huaz Khas Village. Blue eyes, funky hair, working in writing and Bollywood. Vacuous on the outside but deep within. Looking for Dostana with the next Shahid Kapur.

BEAUTIFUL, BORED, middle-aged, Defence Colony wife of a foreign-service bureaucrat seeks a well-informed young man for company and whatever may happen next.

HANDSOME, WELL-BUILT stylist with a bachelor’s pad in Noida, looking for a heartbreakingly handsome, obscenely rich, super-sensitive lover. Great if you are thin or have salt ‘n’ pepper hair or both.

DARGAH-HOPPING, KHAN MARKET JUNKIE, collector of old Jewish cookbooks, chicken pox veteran, seeks a good-looking booklover. Don’t bother if you hate Arundhati Roy.

Do you wish to send in your classified? Make sure it shows the best of you and is clear on just what kind of person you are looking for. Don’t forget to add in your neighbourhood’s name. Mail to mayankaustensoofi@gmail.com. And yes, we’ll need to display your e-mail id!