Delhi’s Bandaged Heart – Jaideep Warya, Ring Road
Poetry in the city.
[Text and photos by Mayank Austen Soofi]
The Delhi Walla arranged to meet poet Jaideep Warya in South Extension-II where he picked me up in his Chevrolet Beat and drove me along a stretch of the Ring Road. In his mid-20s, Mr Warya is employed as an architect at a firm in Gurgaon. A resident of Dwarka, he composes his poems during the long daily commutes between his home and the office.
“While driving, as I am inspired by an idea, I don’t write down the words immediately on a piece of paper,” he says. “Sometimes I try to ignore the thoughts, sometimes I dwell on them. I believe if the idea has a real value, it would come back to me.” Mr Warya keeps his father’s old copy of T.S. Eliot in his car. Fond of reading Kazuo Ishiguro’s novels, he shares a poem with us.
A Modern Sort of Anger
In anger, fury swallows me
Whole. Inside it I reside
Till it implodes over time.
I may swear, I may threaten
but that far I never get. Instead
I end up wishing pain
Upon you, not inflicting it.
I end up turning pale
Frustrated I cannot hurt you.
At worst I will ignore you
Or eye you malignantly.
(Very, very malignantly)
If ever you attempt conversation.
Of course I won’t mind if someone
other than me hurts you,
That’ll please me greatly… I think…probably.
Don’t mistake this for feebleness
for trust me I seldom feel
any emotion other than glee
on ever seeing you in strife.
I delight in your every failure.
You see this isn’t the age
of honor and duels-to-the-end.
Anger rarely achieves fruition.
Its crescendo muted, distorted
by meaningless fits of reason.
I won’t even raise a finger
(not even the middle one)
lest I offend you. Commitment
is too hard. Even to hatred.
The situation is so pathetic
that I will be seething,
And you won’t even know it.
You’ll just walk past,
maybe even smile at me.
And though I’ll want to curse I know
I’ll hold it back. Rest assured
In my hatred of you, eventually,
The only person hurt will be me.
As part of the series Delhi’s Bandaged Moments, The Delhi Walla is searching for poets in the city. If you are one, please contact me at email@example.com.
Poet Jaideep Warya