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Our Self-Written Obituaries – Vibha Kumar, Alaknanda

The 65th death.

[Text by Vibha Kumar; photo by Supriya Pava]

Born to middle class parents in Yemen-occupied, pirate-infected waters of the archipelago in the Indian Ocean where ancient Indians, Africans and Yemenites migrated in the 10th century, Vibha Kumar experienced inexplicable paranormal callings at the tender age of six. In an attempt to express her wild experiences that continued, she wrote her first poem titled My Experiments with my Consciousness, when she was about eight. Shortly, this poem reached on a flying piece of paper, and somehow magically made its way to Europe, albeit dog-eared. The masterpiece immediately got banned by the Liège Cathedral in Belgium. However, Jane Roberts received this material in extensive detail via channeling from metaphysical teacher named Seth in New York in the latter part of the 20th century, and published a book for an esoteric audience.

In 1931, a group of Belgian speleologists were in the area for research on a project, and one of them had read Ms Kumar’s poem that lay in the classified section of the church’s archives. The gentleman traced down Ms Kumar and rescued her from her barbarous surroundings, bringing her into Neo-human civilisation.

Intelligent, compelled towards perfection in matters of superhuman philosophy and Swiss cheese, Ms Kumar proved to be a model daughter and friend, a great cook, popular in school, earning straight A’s in Greek mythology and French erotica, and speaking different languages. At 21, she moved back to her roots-to India-post a brief but torrid affair with a French Shaman, who gifted her the secret scrolls of ‘L’éveil spirituel, ou Śaktipāta,(‘est au coeur du parcours mystique’).

On her arrival, Ms Kumar took the role of a journalist as her day job for cover, even though she detested her identity being pinned down into a box of “a writer”, “an author”, “a singer” or “X, Y and Z”, that came with job titles and company affiliations. The real work of her life was done in intense isolation and complete obscurity, where she worked towards raising an army of housewives, battered career-women, teenagers, sex workers and other marginalised femmes – to spread like virus the innately wild, strong and free nature of women. Ms Kumar also loved animals and the environment, and worked towards their welfare – fostering puppies, kittens, birds, et al and living and propagating a green life.

Following a life-altering heartbreak, she penned her bestselling autobiography, The Complete Life Compass. The book is now available at leading hospitals, NGOs, cemeteries, and book stores across the globe, and was published posthumously, for Ms Kumar shunned the public eye, fame and attention. She remained a closeted singer, poet and Yoga aficionado, and lived in near-seclusion, observing an ascetic life until she decided to leave the Earth-realm. She willed her departure, and passed away peacefully in her sleep at the age of 80, leaving her Beagle, Bulldog and Dachshund behind. Her spirit is known to roam around the world’s ancient sites with the love of her life, her Labrador Vesta. There are accounts of people stating that she is seen from time to time, giving a glowing cell of life energy to all the women in the world that roam around thinking they cannot fight anymore.

Our Self-Written Obituaries invites people to write their obituary in 200 words. The idea is to share with the world how you will like to be remembered after you are gone. (May you live a long life, of course!) Please mail me your self-obit at

6 thoughts on “Our Self-Written Obituaries – Vibha Kumar, Alaknanda

  1. This is very cool, very imaginative writing, AND she is a stunner. Deadly combo, very cool chic I feel. Really enjoyed that of the lot actually

  2. Oh my god this is awesome ! I enjoyed reading that so very much! What a cool chic! Is she a model? And she writes like that!? Breath of fresh air to see a beautiful AND talented writer rolled in one!

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