Our Self-Written Obituaries – Suman D’Silva, Mangalore
The 188th death.
[Text and photos sent by Kanksshi Agarwal]
Suman D’Silva died at fifty. There were only a handful wishes that were ticked off her list while she lived, the last one being, to die at fifty. There was no one to tick that off her wishlist. She lived alone, and died of a cardiac arrest. At least that’s what the physicians believed. But it was an illusory attack. Her heart was more a victim of overthinking than her mind.
A chartered accountant by qualification, a writer by gusto, she had an affair with pen and paper because no man could ever make her feel the way writing did. Crushed by love, trampled upon by trust, she had very little faith left in romantic relationships or none at all. Family was the only element she revered after God. Though she had many reasons to renounce her faith in a supposition, none of them felt solid enough. She prayed on all nights before closing her eyes except on the night she closed them forever. This lapse would hopefully be pardoned.
In her struggle to meet expectations and make every face she came across smile, it took her half her life to realise that she had to live for herself and that self worth mattered more than anything else. Bonkers was her second name, she had broken up with ‘the fear of being judged’ quite a while ago. The wars inside her head knocked many a time on her heart’s door. She always fought them and bravely. She died fighting. She won.
She is survived by her pet, unposted letters, colourful stationery, her doting for coffee and a little square shelf full of books. An eternal three year old, ‘Born three years ago’, that’s what her tombstone will read.
Our Self-Written Obituaries invites people to write their obituary in 200 words. The idea is to share with the world how you will like to be remembered after you are gone. (May you live a long life, of course!) Please mail me your self-obit at mayankaustensoofi@gmail.com.
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