Our Self-Written Obituaries – Faiza S Khan, Clifton, Karachi
The 126th death.
[Text by Faiza S Khan; photo by Avantika Sujan]
Publisher and critic Faiza S Khan died last week at the age of forty-one when she read the words “isn’t that just reverse sexism?” in an article causing her head to explode. A feminist whose zeal knew no bounds, there was nothing Ms Khan wouldn’t do for the cause, as long as it didn’t involve having to leave her desk or being nice to other women.
One of Ms Khan’s professional goals was to battle intellectual snobbery regarding popular culture. She published both literary and commercial works and threw enormous tantrums when one received more critical acclaim than the other. She was known to say “snobbery is just insecurity” on various occasions and so it came as a surprise when her last will and testament decreed that she be buried in her favourite jewellery “lest it end up in the hands of some tasteless arriviste.” Her will further stated that her heart was to be removed from her body and delivered to film star Rishi Kapoor. When contacted, Mr Kapoor said he wished to have nothing to do with it, adding that he was sick of being offered body parts by “deranged fans” and that someone had sent him a finger by registered mail only three weeks ago.
She is survived by her Golden Cocker Spaniel Mango who seemed distressed when he couldn’t find her the day after she passed but has since transferred his affections to a bag of chicken-flavoured treats.
Our Self-Written Obituaries invites people to write their obituary in 200 words. The idea is to share with the world how you will like to be remembered after you are gone. (May you live a long life, of course!) Please mail me your self-obit at firstname.lastname@example.org.