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Our Self-Written Obituaries – Vivek Malik, Sector 45, Gurgaon

Our Self-Written Obituaries – Vivek Malik, Sector 45, Gurgaon

The 100th death.

[Text by Vivek Malik (second from left); photo by Vikas Rathi]

Vivek Malik, a middle-level media professional, died last night during a small party he had thrown on his rented rooftop residence in Sector 45, Gurgaon.

Mr Malik, 60, was surrounded by close friends and family when he collapsed due to cardiac arrest. He leaves behind his wife and a daughter, who is married and settled abroad.

His friends, who were contacted after his demise, were still nursing their hangovers and sounded incoherent and mumbled bitter nothings. After talking to five of them and joining the dots of what each of them said, it emerged that Mr Malik was ranting about the state of the world, as usual, and its growing population – both human and vehicular.

Shedding more light on the events, his close friend and neighbor, Rajat Yadav, said all was going fine and Mr Malik was into his eighth drink when suddenly the topic veered towards cricket, his another passion (first being drinking, if you paid attention to the number of the drink he was into).

“One of our friends suggested that T10s provide wholesome entertainment and are the best form of cricket,” said Mr Yadav. “Being a purist that he was, Malik was incensed and gave a detailed speech on how test cricket remains the ultimate test citing data from as far back as 19th century. Then, suddenly he got up to explain how reverse swing is bowled and tried to take a short run-up – never to get up again.”

Mr Malik’s funeral will be held today. His wife has barred his friends from coming over, owing to their nuisance-creating tendencies.

Our Self-Written Obituaries invites people to write their obituary in 200 words. The idea is to share with the world how you will like to be remembered after you are gone. (May you live a long life, of course!) Please mail me your self-obit at