Our Self-Written Obituaries- Maryann Taylor, Gurgaon
The 103rd death.
[Text by Maryann Taylor; photo by Aashish Chopra]
Maryann Taylor died by choking on a red chili. The world ended in her little rented flat in Gurgaon. Ms Taylor was seated on her favourite mooda. She was eating Thai Green Curry, her comfort food, and was watching Borat on TV for the 37th time. She was laughing hysterically at the fateful moment.
Ms. Taylor was 89 and was suffering from high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Doctors had repeatedly cautioned her of the dangers of her irresponsible eating habits and lack of exercise and warned her of a possible heart attack. Ms Taylor was never very fond of doctors, or even exercise for that matter, and viewed them with utmost suspicion. Ironically, it was not a heart attack, but a stray red chilli that caused her death.
Ms Taylor, also known as a “nasty old shew” by the neighbourhood children had no children of her own and is survived by her 92-year-old husband of 64 years, 7 cats, 12 cartons of books and several unfinished manuscripts. Ms Taylor’s husband was extremely grieved by the fact that she could not complete her meal and that the slice of Rainbow Cake (with cream cheese frosting) that she intended to eat later was lying untouched. He was even more devastated by the fact that he would now have to eat that slice of cake. He hated the stuff.
Ms Taylor had a non-religious (electric) cremation, where attendees were served Thai Green Curry and Rainbow Cake (with cream cheese frosting).
Our Self-Written Obituaries invites people to write their obituary in 200 words. The idea is to share with the world how you will like to be remembered after you are gone. (May you live a long life, of course!) Please mail me your self-obit at mayankaustensoofi@gmail.com.
Waaa waa wee waa! What’s with all these people leaving behind cats and unfinished manuscripts?
I like-a cake. It very niiiicee.